Anaya stared at the ground in confusion.
‘Look, the marks here and here.’ Ceun patiently pointed out the slight tracks in the dust. ‘You can also see there are some broken brambles here and up here where he got caught up, and he was dragging something, something heavy by the look of it.’
Now that she knew what to look for, there was indeed a vague indent along the ground. She smiled in comprehension, catching the bounty hunter staring at her, also smiling, she looked away, embarrassed. It was awkward for them both, and by the time she’d mounted her horse, Ceun was already riding off through the wood.
~~
Will was lost. Not just lost as in, he didn’t know where he currently was, but so lost that he didn’t even know where he was supposed to be. Nevertheless, it was a relief to have some time to try and make sense of everything. If the console was malfunctioning, then he needed to find a way to wake up and fix it. He had to get away from this insane place. He had to find the wizard or the king or this Committee.
With an everlasting faith in the great and the good and their ability to make everything right, he continued onwards, dragging the bedroll behind him.
Finally, the woods began to thin out, presenting him with a steep incline. With the heavy weight on his back, the grassy slope in front of him may as well have been Mount Everest. His calf muscles were screaming before he’d even reached halfway.
‘What about keep-fit while you sleep,’ he said to himself absently. ‘I wonder whether it does tone the muscles in your body. If we could find a way to exercise while sleeping?’ He mused. ‘Now that is a good idea. I must remember that.’ As he reached the summit, he was suddenly aware of being engulfed in silence. No birds, no insects, his movements seemed deafening as though he was the only living thing for miles around.
The gigantic upright stones ahead could not be described as living, although they radiated an almost tangible presence. They were arranged in a circle, some vertical, with the others balanced across to form arches.
‘Stonehenge!’ he breathed. Except this monument looked like the builder had just finished the pointing and had gone off for a cup of tea before the opening ceremony. The stones glistened with a newness their Realitas counterparts had not presented for millennia. From behind one of the larger stones, a soldier appeared, followed by another, and another. Will wondered with so many, how he hadn’t seen or heard them coming. More sets of identical armour joined the throng, and soon the hapless inventor was staring at a semi-circle of steel.
‘Can I help you?’ Will asked, sincerely hoping that he couldn’t.
Sergeant Simpson unrolled a scroll and made great play of clearing his throat. ‘Are you the inventor William Cooper, human?’
‘Depends who wants to know.’ Will said cautiously.
‘I will take that as a yes.’ The Sergeant said with a shrug. Clearing his throat again, the soldier continued. ‘By the order of Lord Elect, High Sheriff, Bango, elected representative of the Clown, buffoon, farceur, fool, funster, gagster, harlequin, humorist, jester, joker, jokster, picador, pierot, prankster, punch, Punchinello, quipster, ribald, wag and wisecracker party and Chairman of the elect committee of Morpheus, I hereby…’
‘Who?’ The soldier looked over the scroll at Will.
‘You trying to be funny sonny?’ He growled.
Will held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. ‘No, no, not at all, whatever you just said sounds perfectly reasonable to me.’
‘Good.’ Simpson cleared his throat again. ‘I hereby advise one William Cooper, human… that’s you.’ He nodded at Will.
‘Thank you?’ Will said uncertainly.
‘William the human, that he is under immediate arrest and will accompany the squad… that’s us.’ There was a nod, but this time towards the assembled squad. ‘For his protection and to uphold the law of Morpheus.’
‘That’s marvellous!’ Will said enthusiastically.
‘It is?’ The Sergeant seemed genuinely interested. ‘Are you sure you understand?’
‘Yes. You see there appears to have been a bit of a mix-up, and if I could just speak to the person in charge, I’m sure I can get everything cleared up.’ Will said, clapping his hands.
‘I see.’ Simpson looked at the scroll to hide his confusion. ‘You’re saying you want to be under arrest and taken to the chairman?’
‘I do!’ Will said cheerfully.
The Sergeant leant forward conspiratorially. ‘Are you quite sure?’
Will nodded. ‘Yes, let’s get going shall we?’
‘I don’t think you understand. You are under arrest. You do know what that means?’ Simpson had been prepared for kicking or screaming, hopefully, both, he had not been prepared for happy acceptance.
‘You did also say it was for my protection.’ Will said.
Simpson scratched his head under his helmet. ‘I did say that, didn’t I? How about are to be taken under arrest so that the committee may punish you for your crimes.’
‘Hey, wait a minute. No-one said anything about any crimes!’ Will protested.
Satisfied that everything was now going to plan the soldier rewound his proclamation. ‘Take him away!’ He yelled.
‘Hang on, don’t I get a say in this?’ Will said.
The Sergeant bent down until his nose was inches from Wills. ‘I don’t think so.’
The whiskers on the dragon pinged with Will’s fear. A curious reptilian snout popped out of the bedroll and sniffed. ‘Now gentlemen, there is no need for force.’ Will tried to back away from the men and their shiny sharp swords.
‘I think there is.’ Simpson was smiling now he was back on familiar territory. ‘Every reason.’ As the soldiers advanced, the little dragon slipped from its shelter and began to grow.
‘Now look here!’ Will started, ‘you can’t treat me like this. So far I have been knocked from a horse, ambushed, nearly drowned and now you want to take me captive in my own dream. Well, I tell you, I am not having this, and you can jolly well…’ The squad stopped in their tracks, their eyes as big as saucers. Utterly oblivious to the monstrous beast behind him Will continued. ‘Yes, I thought that would make you think twice. I just took on a river monster, and I won so just you think about that!’
His head on one side, the dragon looked on curiously as the soldiers began to slowly back away. Simpson stood with his mouth gaping. For good measure, the dragon grew by an extra ten per cent and snorted a blast of hot air in the Sergeant’s direction. This was enough to persuade Simpson that in some cases, discretion is the better part of valour, he turned and fled after his men.
The immediate danger now passed, the dragon deflated like a balloon and scrambled back to his original place. Will blinked at their retreating backs in surprise before the enormity of his victory reached his ego. ‘So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.’ He yelled after them, but not too loud that they might come back. ‘Who said I couldn’t look after myself!’ Will crowed to no-one in particular. He lifted the weighty pack and strode positively towards the circle. Just as he was about to step through, one of the keystones moved.
‘Tricky situation there, John. I heard it all.’ On closer inspection, the stone was in the shape of a small, slightly square man. It winked a coal eye.
‘They realised who they were dealing with and thought better of it.’ Even as the words came out of Will’s mouth, he couldn’t quite believe he was saying them.
‘Hmmm, ok, mate. Are you on the list?’ The man said pleasantly.
‘Um, list? List for what?’
A stone thumb pointed to the structure.
‘Errr, not really, I was just going to have a look around.’ Will replied, not sure what to believe any more. The little man hissed through diamond teeth.
‘Wouldn’t do that if I were you, John. Remarkably dangerous places your average outcrop. Don’t want to be poking around in there. Plus, if you’re not on the list, technically you’re not getting in.’ The man shrugged. ‘Not my rules I just work here.’
‘Don’t be silly, I can just take one step, and I’m inside.’
‘True, true.’ The gatekeeper nodded his head. ‘But then you see you would a problem taking the second step on account of me hacking your other leg off. Nothing personal, you understand?’ From nowhere the man heaved a sharp-looking stone axe which he now tossed from hand to hand.
Will hastily took a step back.
‘You shouldn’t take everything a face value. I mean, take that for example.’ A stone thumb indicated the circle. ‘To the naked eye, it’s a bunch of dodgy-looking rocks standing around. Am I right, or am I right?’
Will looked at the circle. ‘And that’s not what it is?’
‘Now you’re getting it sunshine! Surrounded by magic and mystery, they are.’ He lowered his voice. ‘The things that go on in there, I tell ya, it would make your moss curl.’
‘You mean like naked virgins being sacrificed under the rising sun?’ Will breathed.
The little man made a noise like a car speeding over gravel. It took a while before Will realised he was laughing. ‘No mate, nothing like that. Oh granted, days gone by you couldn’t spit a pebble without hitting a virgin on a warm midsummer’s day, but not these days, defunct they are, no call for them.’
‘Virgins?’ Will asked, his brow furrowed.
‘No.’ The gatekeeper snorted. ‘That lot in there. Druids they call themselves, but they’re nothing on the old lot. See this here was a portal.’
‘To where? My world? Do you think they can maybe get me home?’ Will began to hope.
‘Depends where you’ve come from John. Personally, I’m surprised if they could get themselves home. Retired they have, more into having a good time than anything else.’
‘I’m willing to take any help I can get, and magic just might be the answer, and if this is a portal, it makes about as much sense as anything else that’s happened today.’ Will said.
‘I wouldn’t hold your breath. Tell ya what. I’ll let you in coz you look like you've got an honest face, but I won’t be responsible for anything that happens to you in there. Kapeesh?’ In a flash, the stone axe vanished, and the man was holding out a stone hand.
Will took it instinctively, before asking. ‘Like what exactly?’
‘Your guess is as good as mine sunshine? But if one of them thinks it’s funny to turn both your legs into lava, don’t come running to Rox. That’s me.’ He said, pointing a thumb at his chest.
‘Pleased to meet you Rox.’ Will said, eyeing the circle nervously.
‘You have to step through, don’t ya, John.’ Will passed through the arch, and then hastily backed out again.
‘That was quick,’ said Rox.
‘It’s a… it’s a disco. Circa nineteen seventies I’d say. It had a glitter ball and everything!’ Will squeaked.
‘Is that what it is this week then? It’s pan-dimensional.’ Rox said proudly.
‘You said it was a portal.’ Will said, eyes wide.
‘It used to be until they got all progressive. Now it does the best cocktails this side of the equator.’
‘Right.’ Will took a deep breath. ‘I’m going in.’
He stepped into the circle with the words ‘be lucky’ ringing in his ears.
~~
Will could barely hear himself think above the sound of the music, and it was only once his eyes adjusted to the flashing lights, he became aware of the people. The clientele was mostly men wearing long flowing robes of different hues with matching facial hair masqueraded as hairy chests, complete with medallions of varying sizes. The dance floor was filled with a group, all wearing different shades of blue, who were executing an intricate dance involving some fancy footwork and lots of clapping.
Will worked his way across to where a sleeping druid sat with his face lying on the bar and his beard over his head. ‘Excuse me?’ Will said tentatively.
‘Private Party.’ The beard muttered.
‘Um, sorry. Rox sent me.’ Will replied, shouting above the din. A pair of green eyes peered out from behind the beard.
‘Rox? He’s supposed to keep you people out of here.’ The druid complained.
‘I was hoping that someone would be able to help me, you see…’ Will began.
Before he could finish the sentence, the Druid sat bolt upright and was straightening his attire. ‘We’re the ones for help. Oh yes, you’ve come to the right place, don’t you worry about it. You name it, and we can help, yes, indeedy.’ He got up excitedly and began running around collecting his colleagues. Music was switched off, and all eyes were on Will.
When they were finally assembled, the Druid said, ‘Go on then. What do you need? What’s the job?’
Will coughed nervously. ‘I’m stuck. I’m having this dream, and I can’t seem to wake up. Rox said this was a portal and I was hoping that perhaps you could help me get home?’
‘Ah.’ The Druid said, rubbing his beard. ‘Can’t do much about that. Sorry.’ He raised his arms to the crowd. ‘False alarm guys, sorry.’
The others wandered back muttering as the dancing resumed.
‘But… but… that’s it. You don’t even know where I want to go… What’s the point of having a portal? Surely you can do something?’
‘’Fraid not. You’re from Realitas, yes? Can’t be done, we closed all links to that world aeons ago. It was too dangerous. Too risky that you people would cross over permanently. Is it true you lot eat puppies?’
‘No!’ Will was shocked. ‘Well some people maybe do, but they're really, really bad people, and the rest of us are appalled about it.’
‘But you don’t do anything about it?’ The Druid said, raising an eyebrow.
‘I signed a petition online.’ Will said primly. ‘How did you hear about it?’
‘Uh-huh.’ The man responded sceptically. ‘So, it is true.’ I knew a druid who knew a troll who spoke to a faery whose sister once met a human in Realitas. Word gets around.’
‘You people came to my world?’ Will asked in surprise.
‘All the time. It was backwards and forwards in the old days. Humans came here, we went there, and everyone lived together perfectly happily. We were the gatekeepers. We lived in both dimensions. It was bliss.’ The man’s eyes darkened. ‘Then it became too dangerous. You people began to question everything, especially us. You wanted to explore, to conquer, and to convert everyone to your new religions. You stared to say we were make-believe, or worse, emissary’s of this new devil you’d invented, so, the old Druid Master, Tiberus ordered all the portals to be closed. We couldn’t stop you coming here, but we could make sure you were all mixed up by the time you returned. It was the last real magic we ever did.’
‘That’s terrible. What am I going to do now?’ Will wailed.
‘Beats me.’ The Druid chirped. ‘I’m Moonstone. They call me Moonie, have a drink.’
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